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UNTITLED

I took a walk outside the gates of my school tonight. It was refreshing. I knew what my soul craved but I gave it a substitute _lights illuminating darkness. I breathed the ambience and the calm. 

I experienced peace from coloured lights shining brightly on the streets. The soothing savour of the air, high-low hoot and hum of cars, dry harmattan air...

I enjoyed it all.

I had a destination but I didn't get there. I could've but I didn't.
Why?
I didn't want to go alone.

This is a place I haven't gone to for almost two years even though I longed to be there.
Why?
I've been waiting, trying to fix my time with others and others with mine so I wouldn't have to be there alone. These ‘others’ have left me behind to be there but here I am still maintaining that I don't want to be there alone.

From the eyes of others, I'd scoff and mock myself with the full knowledge of how unreasonable _and foolish my decision is.

I might have to stop waiting and go with my time whenever my schedule lets me. 
Que sera sera.

Tomorrow is a big day for me and I sincerely hope this numbness I feel doesn't get replaced with a full blown panic.  

I pray my nerves are quiet and I can shut down my emotional side, albeit temporarily.



Note: This is just a draft with no adequate review. I'm not bringing out any motivational speech from this. Make your point from this and let me know how you feel.


Thank you!❤️😍
In His Grace,
ITAN.
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