ITAN

We spoke for a while And the feeling I got was wild You made me feel nostalgic Like a piece of my past Was within my grasp This isn't supposed to be a romantic write up But whatsoever happens- I guess I'm like others Shallow and selfish But also painfully honest Time didn't give me the chance to get hurt And it sucks Cause it also didn't leave me with memories That'll soothe my craving heart I had a taste of what being with you would've been And I still can't help but think of how "she's" doing I guess my luck is cursed on guys my type Hopefully I won't die searching for the one- For me Funny thing is, we'll end up finding each other. I'm uptight, yeah But I want to be cool for awhile... Harrison, Dear Harrison, The one who made me smile for awhile With the yummy voice  And attractive look The one who served as my muse for sometime With his mature thoughts And understanding demeanor. Harrison, my ...

It felt heavy To smile, I mean was more or less herculean Sometimes it came with ease _not quite All potty and pissed on a bad day But cool for 5 hours  at most  on a good day. The heaviness that came with fear. Fear of losing things and people  that shouldn't matter but they did, sadly. And it hurt. It hurt, real bad. “Rip this band-aid and let's get this over and done with.” She yelled with boiling rage at a primal stage. “Spare me the torture of nursing old, stale and painful sores.” Her heart bled torrents.  She cried herself to bed most evenings dreading another long night.  She wasn't who she desired to be.  None ever was. She couldn't pinpoint the source of her pain and it frustrated her. She was certain of one thing though.  She wasn't happy.

It's been awhile since I picked up my pen to write in words. Turns out, I'm used to typing it out. But for you, it's more than just words. It's pure, fresh, raw, undiluted...add whatever synonym. Something I came up with at 6:00am I doubt you'll find anything truer than this. But then again, the world takes delight in playing tricks. So, it's probably not real. I'm certain if it's not me, then it's her. The her meant for you heart _😅 sappy, I know. That muse designed for you _could be your him though, wouldn't that be interesting? That one girl, right for you. It's steady, my words _sturdy. I hope when you read this You don't realize it's you Makes it convenient. Years ago, I felt like this but once T'was the first time My first time getting hit so hard. Still can't say what hit me, though. But with you_ I know. It took six, maybe seven...dare I say, eight To get back on my feet. I was dren...

5:14pm  I feel cold all over. My heart's rhythm changed. Fear's creeping Frustration settling. Hard guy n'all still soft and tender  All little nudge or A lil push of the right button  And it'll all come crumbling down Hitting my chest isn't working Neither is rubbing it Why am I so cold? I need to feel my palms again Yo quiero que mi cuerpo  vuelva a estar caliente My blankie isn't doing much I need help It's numb but painful Like the fear of losing someone Karma's cruel but this isn't karma. Cause I've been real (Atleast,I think so) I need myself back I need to let go of every damn emotion That comes with losing a friend Valued or not.

I worked twice as hard this week Got replaced more times than I could count When I think about it, wiping sweat isn't so bad. The pain that comes with tears isn't so nice. It's uncomfortable. I dried off her tears repeatedly. Tears that bore sorrow and deep anguish. With me, she didn't mask her pain So I experienced  the raw indepth of her agony And my heart broke. Do handkerchiefs have hearts? 'cause it felt like it for a millisecond. The ache was there. The pain was real. For the first time, I felt helpless All I could do was dry up her tears. Her throat burned. How I could tell would forever  be a mystery to me But her choked cries was evidence enough. I've had my fair share of tears too Don't ask. A piece of cloth Crafted and woven  For her use, all I could do was get wet and pray she'd feel relief. Ah, such sweet relief “Breathe girl. I am your 100% quality cotton.  I'll dry up your tears  till you've got ...