BLEED

It felt heavy

To smile, I mean

was more or less herculean

Sometimes it came with ease

_not quite

All potty and pissed on a bad day

But cool for 5 hours at most 

on a good day.

The heaviness

that came with fear.

Fear of losing things and people 

that shouldn't matter

but they did, sadly.

And it hurt. It hurt, real bad.

“Rip this band-aid and let's get this over and done with.” She yelled with boiling rage at a primal stage. “Spare me the torture of nursing old, stale and painful sores.”

Her heart bled torrents. 

She cried herself to bed most evenings dreading another long night. 

She wasn't who she desired to be. 

None ever was.

She couldn't pinpoint the source of her pain and it frustrated her.

She was certain of one thing though. 

She wasn't happy.